Crowd: RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ken: (OSV) Kaz Sato is arriving at the arena. He’s part of our main event tonight, teaming with a most unlikely partner in Masaharu Tanabashi as they face off against Diabolique and Tomoko Hanahara.

Chris: (OSV) Sato might as well be in a handicap match.

Sato smiles as he talks into the phone.

Sato: Yeah, I know. Everything is going according to plan. But don’t worry, I’ll be on the first flight after the show.

Sato gets about ten feet from the back door when suddenly it bursts open. A few massive forms rush through the door, making a bee-line for Kaz. The Beast’s eyes widen as he releases the handle of his suit case and lowers the phone from his ear.

Sato: What the…?

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his question as a right hand from Derek Hardaway lands across Phoenix’s jaw. The phone drops to the ground as five thugs swarm the reeling Sato, pounding him to the pavement with a flurry of powerful fists and forearms.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ken: (OSV) WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?! WHO DO THESE ANIMALS THINK THEY ARE?!

Chris: (OSV) There are an infinite number of things I could say here.

Chris Jacobs smirks sadistically as he picks up the cell phone, hearing the person calling out from the other end of the line.

"Kaz? KAZ?! What’s going on? Are you okay?"

Sato tries to fight back as two thugs drag him to his feet, but he’s overmatched by the two massive men. They lift Kaz into the air above their heads, then run toward the wall of the arena. The Beast is tossed like a human javelin into the solid concrete wall.

"KAZ!? HELLO?!"

CJ slowly raises the phone to his ear as the person on the other end continues to call out.

CJ: Sorry, but Kaz’s a little busy right now. He’ll have to call you back later…if he’s able to talk, that is.

"What? Who IS this?! Where’s Kaz? Hel-"

Chris Jacobs flips the phone shut and discards it back to the ground where he found it. He then strides over to where Hardaway and the thugs are working Sato over against the wall.

Ken: (OSV) Jacobs is sick!

Chris: (OSV) You’re just now figuring that out? Get with the program, Ken.

Hardaway connects with a devastating right hand to the side of Sato’s head, which he follows up with a knee to Kaz’s midsection.

Kaz: OOMPH!

Sato doubles over as the air is forced from his lungs. He struggles for breath as all three men begin to batter him down to the ground once again. Fists, forearms, and feet all find places to strike Sato as he does his best to shield himself from the barrage. As the three men continue their dismantling of Sato, Jacobs clears his throat, which halts the previously relentless attack on Sato. The Man In Black kneels down beside the battered Sato, whose hair is mussed and lip bloodied.

CJ: You know, Kaz, it’s a shame things had to come to this. I would have much rather preferred that you stayed in whatever prison you were in.

Jacobs looks over the battered form of Kaz Sato, curled up against the wall of the arena. He shakes his head slowly from side to side.

CJ: You said a couple weeks ago that you owed him for helping you with your situation. Do you still think you owe him one, Kaz, after he let this happen to you?

Jacobs looks up at his cohorts, an arrogant smirk spreading across his face.

Ken: (osv) Chris Jacobs and his thugs are trying to take out Kaz Sato! Christian Connolly has got to put a stop to this!

Chris: (osv) Why should he? This is great television!

Suddenly Sato springs to life, lunging at The Man In Black. CJ’s eyes widen as he falls backwards trying avoid the grasp of The Beast. Unfortunately for Kaz, however, there is the matter of those three men who were so happily taking him to task just a few moments ago. They’re on him again, with the thugs grabbing Kaz’s arms and propping him up while Hardaway buries his right hand into Sato’s belly. Shot after shot from Derek send pulses of pain coursing through Kaz's body. An angry Jacobs brushes some gravel and dirt from his hands as he rises to his feet, an angry scowl on his face.

CJ: Put this piece of garbage where he belongs!

The Man In Black points in the direction of a large trash dumpster down along the building. Hardaway lifts Kaz’s head and measures him with one final hard right hand. The sound of flesh and bone colliding is sickening as Kaz's cheek is split open. Hardaway shakes his right hand after that last shot as the thugs drag Sato’s body toward the trash bin. The two men pick up a head of steam, each one cradling one of Sato’s arms while grabbing a hold of the waist of his pants. In unison, the two men use their built up momentum to use Sato like a battering ram, sending him smashing into the metal dumpster. A loud, echoing thud is heard as Sato's head slams into the trash bin. He lays next to it, nearly knocked into tomorrow, as Jacobs leads his group back into the building.

Ken: (OSV) Will someone get out there to check on Kaz Sato for God’s sake?! He needs some medical treatment right away!

The camera cuts to an anonymous backstage. As the lyrics hit, a pair of large, swinging entry doors burst open to reveal Masaharu Tanabashi, marching toward the camera with a determined glare.

"EVOLUTION IS A MYSTERY!"

The camera is swung to the right, only to be met with a fist from the Lunatic. The lens spiderwebs and falls to the floor.

"FULL OF CHANGE THAT NO ONE SEES!"

A hand picks up the shattered lens, bringing it to the squinting eyes of Dylan Cage, who scoffs and throws it back to the floor.

"CLOCK MAKES A FOOL OF HISTORY!"

Facing upward off the floor, the lens reveals R.W. Randolph, who looks downward, smiles, and smothers the lens with a black boot.

"YESTERDAY'S TOO LONG AGO!"

Spinning left, the camera finds the looming form of Shawn Christopher. He raises his forearm, displaying the "PRAISE HUBBARD" scrawled on wrist tape. The lens is quickly diverted away from him as Citizen Truth focuses it on himself and salutes. After a few seconds of face-time, SC snarls and face-palms the lens, sending it tumbling away.

"DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT I KNOW!"

The camera is caught and brought to an abrupt halt, the scarred visage of the Tsukino Meiou holding it steady. He seems to stare through the lens, into the heart of the viewer, piercing eyes never blinking.

"TOMORROW BECOMES A NEW PLACE TO BE!"

The lens is wrenched away by the burly hands of the White Trash Trucker, revealing his growling visage. He curls his lips in before thumping his chest with his fist.

"I SEE THE LIGHT IN THE SAND!"

The lens snaps away once more, jetting further up the hall, where another door on the opposite side of the hall swings open, revealing Hawaiian Hardhead. Walking down the hall, he stops at the camera and growls. He then palms the camera, and throws it.

"EVOLUTION!"

The shot turns to black and white, revealing the faces of competitors as jagged blue lettering in the foreground presents their names. Behind it, the camera sprints down toward the end of the hall, where the silhouette of a figure stands.

"EVOLUTION!"

As the lens draws closer, we find Universal Champion Tomoko Hanahara holding the belt up to her face, adjusting a few stray hairs for the optimum experience.

"EVOLUTION!"

She smiles and waves, holding up the title, along with Elmo.

The PWE logo slams onto the screen.

PWE... Wrestling's Revolution.

The door knob jostles and turns, causing SC to quickly turn and look. He hadn’t heard Simmons screaming in pain or begging for mercy, but that didn’t mean that trouble wasn’t afoot. As Shawn starts for the closet, the door of the dressing room opens. In through it walks the massive form of the Heroic Hoss, Citizen Truth. The large man ducks his head slightly as he crosses the threshold, his shiny title belt slung safely over his shoulder.

CT: Boss, I need a word.

SC grins sheepishly, halting his progress toward the closet and trying to act like that wasn’t where he was going.

SC: Absolutely! Anything for my American battering ram.

Both men pause in an uncomfortable silence, realizing the potential connotation of the last statement. Finally, the Americanimal speaks to break the quiet.

CT: I can appreciate what you were trying to do last week when you went to see dastardly Jacobs. You have an agenda and I’ve pledged to help you to that end. I’ll be there when you need me, rest assured.

SC flashes one of his trademark greedy smirks.

SC: That’s extremely comforting, Citizen.

CT’s voice becomes a primal growl as he continues.

CT: However, Jacobs will be dealt with, painfully and severely. I’ll not be made a fool of by him or anyone else. It's open season on his butt. Pardon my language, sir.

The grin dissipates somewhat from Shawn’s face, although not completely.

SC: I trust you’ll be able to multi-task both situations, then?

CT: You don’t have to worry about me, Mr. Christopher. When the time comes I’ll be at the ready to assist you, Chris Jacobs or no Chris Jacobs.

SC: Very well, Citizen. And just know, if you need any help.. I got your back.

Truth and Christopher exchange a handshake before the Heroic Hoss takes his leave of the locker room. SC rubs his finger along his chin, a plotting, planning, scheming, generally heelish look in his eyes.

The first word is PIMP.

Also, see GANGSTA (with an A)

And BAM!

(All credit goes to the people who posted these pictures for me to find in Yahoo and Google search. I'm in a good mood and I don't want to get sued.)

"Rowdy!"

But the Broken Sant just keeps walking, the shout falling on deaf ears. There’s a clear destination Randolph has in mind, and given the events that have occurred in recent weeks, it’s not difficult to assume where that location might be.

Randolph comes to an abrupt stop in front of a door and slams the side of his fist against its surface a couple times. There’s a momentary pause before the door swings open, and all at once, you can here Calgary grown.

Standing in the doorway is none other than the Universal Champion herself, The Queen of the Ring, Tomoko Hanahara.

TH: I see you’re walking. There for a minute, I was worried I might have crippled your ass last week, and you wouldn’t even make it to the PPV.

Randolph: I’m doing just fine.

TH: Good. I don’t want any excuses when I beat you next month and end your disappointing career. Last week was just a taste of what’s in store for you at Destiny.

The Broken Saint folds his arms across his chest and nods his head, digesting yet another helping of classic Tomoko Hanahara ego.

Randolph: It’s funny you should mention that… cuz your sneak attack last week got me to doin’ some thinking. I was recalling us fighting up the ramp, and you dropping me on my head… right on that steel grate at the top of the ramp, and all that brawling anywhere and everywhere… it took me back.

The Queen rolls her eyes and leans against the door frame.

TH: Do you have point, ape? Or are you just wasting my time? In case you’ve forgotten, I’ll be main eventing yet another Solitary, and since I’m teamed with the only other great wrestler in this place, that means it’s essentially a given victory.…

Randolph: I’ve got a point. The point is, last week took me back to an earlier stage in my career. And after discussing it with the appropriate parties, I’ve been granted the addition of a stipulation for our Career Vs Title match at Destiny.

TH: Kissing up to the boss?

The Broken Saint no-sells the comment.

Randolph: Per the approval of the Board, the main event of Destiny will be No Holds Barred.

The comment lights a fire under Hanahara who pushes herself away from door frame and throws her hands into the air.

TH: WHAT?! Is that man out of her mind?!

Randolph: Actually, it was the new boss that signed off on this. Seemed fair, since you got to add that stipulation about me putting my career on the line, that I got to make an addition to that match myself.

TH: New boss? No way this stands, plebe! No way in hell!

Randolph: What’s the matter, Tomoko? You sound… almost… scared. Terrified of the thought of stepping into the ring with me when the rules go out the window? Mortified of what the man who was once a Deathmatch Champion is going to do to you when anything and everything is fair game?

The Queen locks eyes with The Broken Saint, biting her bottom lip, fists clenched at her side.

TH: Someone with my track record isn’t terrified of anything. I’ve overcome every obstacle ever set in front of me by this company or any other! I’ve beaten every peasant, every curtain jerker, every rising star, and every so-called legend I’ve ever stepped into the ring with. And just last month, I beat you… clean in the middle of the ring. One-on-one, handicap matches, triple threats, it doesn’t matter what they throw at me. No Holds Barred just gives me more ways to end your career. It doesn’t change anything, plebe.

Randolph: It’s easy to stand there in the doorway of your locker room, just moments after finding out. But I wonder how you’ll feel when Destiny rolls around, and you’re standing at the gorilla position, waiting for the sound of your music… when you’ve had a couple weeks to think about exactly what you’re in store for. 200 days, Tomoko. That’s how long I reigned as king of the Deathmatch. That’s how long I walked into steel cages, into the realm of barb-wire bats, ladders, chairs, broken bones and shredded flesh… and walked out with gold around my waist. Its old hat for me, champ. I’m like the career criminal who always finds himself in shady business. I can’t kick it. Not proud of it. But I’ll be damned if I haven’t gotten real good at it.

Somewhere in Tomoko Hanahara’s lungs, there exists a response, but it never escapes her lips… not before The Broken Saint turns and walks away, leaving the Universal Champion to alone to think about the ante that has just been upped on already ridiculously high stakes.

Well, Chris Jacobs doesn't exactly play by the rules of convenience.

The Black Plague leans against the wall outside his locker room. Derek Hardaway mans the rogue camera that is filming.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

With the eyes of a man who knows that his time in the company is going to come to a close, one way or the other, Jacobs stares into the camera. He hasn't been this enraged in quite a while, mostly because he's had the upper hand for a good portion of the year.

CJ: You know, I've reached the end of my fucking rope in this place.

Ken (OSV): You aren't kidding.

Chris (OSV): Dude, I haven't seen someone manhandle Chris Jacobs like that.

Ken (OSV): I'm stunned he hasn't left out of the build-

CJ: Shut the mouth, Stevenson, I'm the center of attention right now. I've heard the whispers through the locker room and everywhere I go. Citizen Truth is going to decimate me when he gets his hands around my scrawny little neck. Suck the life out of me like a rabbit in the mouth of a lion. I've had priests come up to me on the street and offer me last rites.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

CJ: Oh, yeah, of course, look who I'm speaking to? An uneducated cavalcade of retards. Of course anybody in PWE, the wrestling world, and you bunch of fucking twits in Canada are going to believe I stand no shot. I can walk through the corridors as the undisputed best wrestler in the world, hardest striker to ever grace the annals, but if something giant and shiny comes along, you'll instantly give him more attention than me.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CJ: The short term memory of those in the wrestling industry is nothing short of bombastically appalling. Every time you get burned, like a shut down cornerback, it has to go in the back of your mind and incinerated like an incriminating political document. For ALL OF 2009, I've been the GODDAMN Death of anybody who came across me. I ONLY LOST A SINGLE MATCH! I'VE DAMN NEAR ENDED TWO CAREERS BUT I'M STILL TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!

Jacobs strategically snaps his neck to each side, letting the crack resonate through the silent corridors.

CJ: I've been through obstacles bigger and badder than Truth. I wear the evidence underneath this shirt. The scars trap my body and I have to live with them every day. But you know what? I've grown to accept them. I've grown to accept that I'm a goddamn demon who is incapable of being stopped, even by arrogant cocks like Citizen Truth.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CJ: So you want to play one more game, Superhero? Think you are so fucking big and bad that a short stack like me can't get in your head? Can't desecrate you like I have the rest of the roster? Well I'll give you an olive branch. Destiny. I'm not doing anything and I doubt you are either. Let's say we resolve this conflict in the squared circle. Yeah, Truth, I'm calling YOU out.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

CJ: And I'll sweeten the pot, making it so fucking savory that you can't resist. I'll allow you to pick the special stipulation for the match. Whatever you want. You don't need to ask the question how sadistic can you get. You need to ask how much blood you want to lose. You need to ask how much skin you want to lose. How many bones do I want to have by the end of the night. How much of the remaining sanity do I want to have left...Do I want to have a career by the time Jacobs is done destroying me?

Jacobs drops his arms into his pockets.

CJ: The Black Plague is going to end you Citizen Truth, whether you like it or not.

Derek slams the camera to the ground and accompanies his brother into the locker room.

He he he he he he he

Oh My God
Car
Rah
Tea

He he he he he

Oh My God
Jew
Jif
Shoes

Oh My God
Oh My God

I'm gonna get hate for this.

We cut to the boss's office for the first time this evening, but who we see sitting behind the desk is not Christian Connolly. Sitting behind the desk is a lady that we haven't seen in PWE in a long while. A one, Miss Amerie Rodriguez.

The camera turns on in front of her desk. AR shuffles papers and glares into the camera.

Amerie Rodriguez: Good evening, I hope that you are enjoying the festivities of the evening and I promise not to take up much time.

Chris (OSV): What the hell is she doing there?

Ken (OSV): You guess is as good as mine.

Chris (OSV): ...I knew Connolly was really a woman.

Amerie Rodriguez: Mr. Connolly has decided to take an indefinite leave of absence. In his place, he has named me as the new power-that-be here in PWE. He has afforded all the powers necessary to manage the roster on a day-to-day basis.

Dead silence in the arena.

Chris: Holy crap. Crazy bitch in charge! Everyone run for the hills!

Ken: Amerie Rodriguez is taking over day-to-day operations in PWE?

The fans are all still too "wtf" to decide whether to cheer or boo, which seems to be part of Rodriguez's plan.

Amerie Rodriguez: Now, as my first official acts, I am here to make some matches official for the Destiny Pay-Per-View. By the actions of last week, the Main Event will be Tomoko Hanahara defending her Universal Championship against R.W. Randolph's career. If Mr. Randolph wins the match then he is the new Universal Champion. If he loses then he must retire from PWE. And this match will be No Holds Barred.

Ken (OSV): That is going to be a huge match.

Chris (OSV): Once Hanahara wipes this fool out, then there will be no denying that she is at the top of the heap.

Amerie Rodriguez: Another match that will be made in the wake of last week. Our new Gateway Champion, Dylan Cage, will take on Hawaiian Hardhead in his first defense.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Amerie Rodriguez: And finally, Diabolique will be defending Vicious Title against Masaharu Tanabashi. More matches will be confirmed in the upcoming weeks.

Ken: Tanabashi to start here against Hanahara – you've got to imagine Tanabashi wants to stick it to Tomoko.

Chris: Nonsense. Clockwork beings do not feel pain.

Ken: Hanahara with a probing jab, swatted aside! The former Universal Champion comes forward with a high roundhouse kick, and he stops on a dime as Tomoko flows up and under! Remarkable athleticism from both competitors here! Tanabashi turns –

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ken: And gets a thumb to the eye from Hanahara! So much for a fair fight, as the Queen snaps off a low dropkick to crumple the Protagonist –

Chris: Like a flan in a cupboard.

Ken: Now Tomoko steps forward and she's just digging in! Hanahara is just digging her nails into the eyes of Tanabashi!

Chris: The Steel Blind Warrior!

Ken: Quick tag to Dia as Tanabashi tries to recover! DNT runs past each other, off the opposite ropes and – WHAM! Double dropkick! Double dropkick! One to the front, the other to the rear!

Chris: First, that's what she said. Second, it's like being in a DNT sandwich, just not the kind I'd like. The kind that is all feet and pain.

Ken: David Hamill ordering the Universal Champion back into the corner! Hamill trying to enforce the rule of order here and –

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Chris: Hah! He proves to be Captain Oblivious again!

Ken: Hamill was tied up lecturing Tomoko about illegal double-teams and Diabolique just split the wickets – what a vicious lowblow from the Vicious champ!

Dia reaches out a taped hand, which the Universal Champion slaps with exaggerated slowness for Hamill's benefit.

Ken: And now Hanahara wants back in again. Dia hooks a front facelock and drags the Warrior to the mat – she pauses and bridges over into a chancery! Tomoko off the ropes and – WHAM! Dropkick! Sliding dropkick to the face of Tanabashi! Come on, Hamill, get them to do this one-on-one!

Now it's Dia who throws her hands up in the air, stepping swiftly between the ropes. She wraps one taped fist around the tag rope.

Ken: DNT is just abusing the rules against a venerable competitor like Tanabashi!

Chris: Doesn't "venerable" mean "old"?

Ken: He's only 28!

Chris: Twenty-eight is pretty old, Ken. That's, like, a hundred and fourteen in wrestling years.

Ken: Tomoko now pulls Tanabashi back up to his feet...

The Queen's conceited, almost playful look vanishes completely when MT wraps his arm around Hanahara's head, hooks a leg and lifts her off the ground.

Ken: Tanabashi! Tanabashi – small package driver! Hamill down to count!

ONE!!

TWO!!

Ken: Kickout by Hanahara! So close to Tanabashi pulling off what would shockingly probably be considered an upset, even considering that this is Masharu Tanabashi.

Chris: Never happen.

Ken: Never say never. Hanahara with a surprised look, asking for Hamill to confirm that was only a two and – KENKA! KENK—no, Hanahara ducks underneath the boot and rolls – falls – to the arena floor! Tanabashi came within an eyelash of knocking the champion out with that move!

Chris: It should be banned!

Ken: Why?

Chris: Because knocking out Tomoko should be against the rules!

Ken: Diabolique off the apron now, helping up the champion, and the two women are conversing on the floor here as Tanabashi gathers his bearings!

Chris: He should make a tag – oh, wait, he's not popular.

Ken: Tanabashi! Tanabashi off the ropes and he's gonna fly!

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"EVO THAT SHIT! EVO THAT SHIT!"

Ken: Somersault tope con hilo! The Warrior wipes out both members of DNT!

MT pops to his feet, scanning the crowd with his roguish grin – seriously, did you know they patterned Arthas' grin from Warcraft on Masaharu's? True story.

(Okay, not a true story.)

He leaps over the balcony and finds a young blonde with an old-school Tanabashi LaW tee and brushes a kiss to her cheek. The girl turns to the guy next to her and squeals in glee.

For those of you expecting the twist, no, the girl doesn't attack him.

Ken: Operation Babe Hunt!

Chris: You just announced a move called "Operation Babe Hunt". Don't you feel dirty? Just a little bit?

Ken: Tanabashi back over the ramp, he has the presence of mind to remember Hanahara is still the legal participant!

Chris: The legal woman. Just call her the legal woman! Feminism only goes so far, Ken.

Ken: Hanahara pulls herself up to her knees on the middle rope – say what you will about the Queen, she might be the toughest woman in wrestling. Tanabashi to the apron and –

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chris: Here they come!

Ken: One Common Goal! Chris Jacobs & Derek Hardaway coming out to watch on the stage!

Chris: Now things get interesting!

Ken: Hanahara up to her feet as Tanabashi now has to concern himself with Jacobs & Hardaway!

Chris: All this is nothing. He's Masaharu Tanabashi.

Ken: Hanahara off the ropes – Tanabashi ducks under the clothesline –

Chris: She's going for a lariat? Hello!

Ken: Tanabashi slides to the side, snatches Hanahara's arm and pulls her close for –

Chris: A loving embrace?

Ken: A headbutt! Headbutt! And Tanabashi whips Hanahara over in a wrist-clutch inside-cradle! Tanabashi again trying to sneak a pinfal>l!

TWO!!

On the stage, Hardaway moves forward, but is held back with a light touch from Chris Jacobs.

Chris: Roll over! What power!

Ken: Diabolique on the outside rolls Hanahara over!

ONE!!!

TW---

Ken: Tanabashi lets go of his grip, and both competitors are on the mat! This might've been over if Diabolique hadn't rolled that inside cradle over!

Chris: I did not see that.

Ken: Of course you didn't.

Chris: Sometimes this monitor fritzes out on me.

Ken: Tomoko backs into the corner, pulling herself into a crouch as Tanabashi tries to cut her off from her corner! Running knee from – he missed! Masaharu missed and went knee-first into the turnbuckle! Hanahara with the roll across the ring and – tag to Diabolique!

Chris: The time for Masaharu's fun is over!

Ken: Dia and Tomoko now... double Irish whip across the ring and – double flapjack! Tanabashi goes face-first into the canvas! And –

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

Ken: Double kicks sandwich the Warrior between them! Again, DNT taking advantage of the referee's count! You have to remember that both Tomoko and Diabolique are no strangers to tag team competiton in their careers!

Chris: What you're saying is: these chicks like getting tag-teamed.

Ken: You realize that's Tomoko Hanahara and Diabolique you're talking about.

Chris: Uh, Ken, you're the one who read innuendo into that, not me. If anyone's going to get killed this week, it's you.

Ken: It's clear that DNT is trying to limit the exposure that Diabolique will suffer this week, even though we know that Hanahara will be defending the, Universal champion in two weeks time. Now Dia pulls Tanabashi up and – double-thrust to the throat!

Chris: She's a martial artist, Ken. Know how I know you're gay?

Ken: Isn't that a non sequitur?

Chris: Because you use words like "non sequitur".

Ken: Tanabashi stumbles into the corner, another quick tag from Diabolique to Hanahara and Dia with a running start at Tanabashi and –

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: Back-body drop! Tanabashi reverses into a back body drop! Diabolique goes tumbling over the top rope to the floor! Good Lord! Good Lord, Dia cracks her skull against the apron! Diabolique is immobile on the floor!

Chris: That... was probably not smart.

Ken: Hanahara charges forward – Tanabashi out of the corner with a clothesline – floatover and a DDT! A DDT from Hanahara! Hanahara mounts Tanabashi –

Chris: Doesn't he wish? She wouldn't dare touch him; he's got cooties.

Ken: And Tomoko just driving those right hands into Tanabashi's face! And the Hand is moving off the stage! David Hamill has to physically separate Tomoko from Masaharu Tanabashi!

Hanahara is shouting, "Get the fuck off of me!"

Ken: Tomoko Hanahara is livid here! Tanabashi pulls himself up in the corner and Hanahara shrugs off Hamill's hands!

The Warrior sees it happening as soon as it develops, but by then it's too late. He charges forward, stepping into a jump-spinning 540° buzzsaw-roundhouse kick. Hanahara drops flat, though, and the kick sails over her head.

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

Right into David Hamill's face.

Ken: Tanabashi! Tanabashi hits Hamill!

Chris: Disqualification, DNT wins!

Ken: It was inadvertent!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Chris: SKULL TO THE BOYS!

Ken: Tanabashi turns around and Tomoko drives her forehead... well, she drives it low!

Chris: I want her do that to me some day.

On the floor, Chris Jacobs and Derek Hardaway have made their way to ringside. But it's a small nod from CJ that starts the mess Masaharu feared.

Ken: Hardaway up to the apron and over the top rope! Hardaway in the ring now!

Usually, these are moments where Tomoko Hanahara resents anyone's interference with her matches. You can call it the "I'm a big girl" effect. But all it takes is one look down to the floor at the smidgen of blood over Dia's eyes before she's backing up to let the Main Man do what he does best.

Ken: Hardaway snatches up Tanabashi by the throat and lifts him off the ground in two mitts! You know Derek remembers being knocked silly at Cyberslam! - Hardaway just holding up the Warrior as Hanahara steps to the outside apron! What strength!

Hanahara glances down to Dia; words are exchanged (mostly from Tomoko – we know that's a shocker), before Dia nods.

Ken: Tomoko – springboard! Flying forearm from Tomoko! And Hardaway drives Tanabashi down! Come on, it's two-on-one!

Chris: Three!

Ken: Diabolique up to the apron again and –

"I hear voices in my head
The council me"

Ken: What's this?

The Evo*View says the name – four letters cresting out of the darkness like a sun over a horizon.

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: It's Sato! Sato racing through the curtain!

In his haste to get to the ring, two things happen; one is more noteworthy than the other. First, he shrugs off his hooded jacket, leaving it as a pool of white on the ground. The second, he bowls over Chris Jacobs, still on the rampway, sending the Man In Black tumbling towards the guardrail facefirst.

Kaz never looks back.

Ken: Sato into the ring and –

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

Ken: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Chin Check! Chin Check for Derek Hardaway again! Sato has cleared out One Common Goal!

Brown eyes meet red ones, Sato staring Diabolique down as the Mistress watches from the apron. Then slowly, very deliberately, Sato backs away, stepping through the ropes to the outside apron.

And he wraps his hand around the tag rope.

Chris: What?

Ken: Sato is here to take his place as Tanabashi's partner!

Chris: No! I liked it better when it was two on one!

Tomoko looks between Dia and Sato – the two haven't looked away from each other yet. Then, for once in her life, Tomoko decides that business comes first, especially as Tanabashi is crawling to the corner.

Ken: Tomoko! Tomoko has a hold of Masaharu's foot! And –

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

Ken: Enzugiri! Enzugiri from Masaharu Tanabashi! He's free Hanahara and – tag! Tag to Sato! In comes the The Beast! He pulls up the Queen and whips her across the ring – WHAM! Spinebuster! Spinebuster from Sato to Tomoko! Sato quickly on the offense! He pulls Tomoko up again!

Chris: Stop this! Make this stop!

Ken: Sato with the front facelock! He wraps a hand in her pants –

Chris: That's what she said.

Ken: And lifts her high! Delayed vertical suplex from the The Beast! Sato staring right at Diabolique as he spins and – BOOM! BOOM! Sato swings Tomoko down into a jackhammer! And Hamill dives over!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

Ken: Dia into the ring!

THR—

Ken: Diabolique went for the punt! Diabolique went for the punt on Sato and the Beast sat up out of it, breaking the count!

Chris: Kick his face off!

Ken: Sato rocks back up to his feet, staring the Mistress down and – Dia with a spin-kick attempt, ducked by Sato! She completes the revolution with a backfist, blocked aside! Sato with a left hand, Dia pivots out of the way and lets him go past! She ducks down for a legsweep, he hops the leg! Sato coming down with a fist, and Dia pivots to the side again and up to her feet!

Chris: We were briefly transported to the world of Street Fighter.

David Hamill steps in, ordering the Mistress back.

Ken: And now Diabolique is backing off – is she amused? There's a smile on Dia's face! Kaz turns around and –

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: Hanahara with a lowblow!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: Two!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: Three! Three low blows!

Chris: Ah-ah-ha!

Ken: Tomoko with a tag to Diabolique and – here we go! It's the confrontation we've been waiting for! Sato and Diabolique! Dia wraps her hand around Sato's head and – the Beast knocks her hand away and rockets back to his corner and – tag to Tanabashi!

Chris: Did he run away?

Ken: I think Sato wants this confrontation to happen on his terms.

Chris: Like two on one?

Ken: Tanabashi into the ring now – he and Sato with a brief, unhappy look at each other, then at Diabolique –

There's almost the sense of "Ohnoyoudi'nt!" from Tomoko Hanahara as she climbs into the ring to stand next to Dia.

Sato and Tanabashi may not see eye-to-eye, but these two women do, and that fact and that fact alone turns the two men to face them.

Dia and Hanahara charge, and... Ken Stevenson, give me the call.

Ken: DNT forward! Clothesline from Hanahara for Sato, spinkick from Diabolique – both men duck underneath! Dia and Hanahara turn! BOOM! BOOM! Stereo belly –to-belly suplexes from... S and T?

Chris: STOP IT! Lalalala! I can't hear you!

Ken: Dia and Tomoko slide out of the ring and down to the floor! Tanabashi and Sato now – still no communication from their team as they step back and – both men off the ropes! Both men! Double suicide dive! Tomoko and Diabolique wiped out again!

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"S AND T!" "S AND T" "S AND T!"

Ken: This crowd gets it!

Chris: No! Sit down! Sit down you a-holes!

Ken: Sato tossing Hanahara back into the ring as Tanabashi comes back to his feet again! Masaharu... Masaharu over to the timekeeper's table! Tanabashi looking for a chair!

Chris: That's not fair!

Ken: Tanabashi has a chair!

The former... well, the former lots-of-places champion briefly brandishes the chair. In fact, when he turns, Jacobs is stepping forward and it's the chair that sends him skittering backwards.

Ken: Tanabash sets up the chair – looks like he's looking for the Driver on the floor! In the ring, Sato whips Tomoko at the ropes and – Diabolique grabs his leg!

Chris: What's that sound?

Ken: That's the crowd, they're...

They're paying attention to the American flag masked man making his way through the entrance and down the stairs.

Ken: It's Citizen Truth!

Chris: Awww crap! We need security at the ring - scratch that, we need the National Guard!

Ken: Hardaway into the ring, he's stretching out that lariat arm! But who's he going to go for – Tomoko or Sato? Truth over the security barrier as Tanabashi starts his motion – and he takes the chair! He takes the chair out of the way!

Chris: Maybe he's come to his senses!

Ken: Sato steps up to the bottom rope and jumps down and he kicks Diabolique! Sato kicks off Dia!

Chris: Truth's got the chair! Good night, Masaharu!

Ken: Hardaway with the flip-back in the ropes as Tomoko gets back to her feet! She doesn't see the Main Man coming and –

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

The two things happen simultaneously; be glad F/X paid for split-screen technology. On the left of the screen, Derek Hardaway's Acecracker Lariat flies over the head of Tomoko Hanahara and collides with the neck of Sato. On the right, Citizen Truth hauls off and cracks the chair...

...Over Chris Jacobs' head.

Ken: Hardaway hits Sato! Truth has knocked out Jacobs!

Chris: RUN AWAY JACOBS! RUN AWAY!

Ken: Truth signals to Tanabashi to get back in the ring! The Warrior slides in and BOOM! BOOM! CLOTHESLINE! CLOTHESLINE TO DEREK HARAWAY! Both men over the top to the outside!

Chris: I can't believe what I'm seeing!

Ken: And in the middle of all this chaos, Tomoko has Sato – PARTINGISSUCHSWEETSORROW! Sato just got planted! Tomoko with the cover!

ONE!!!

Ken: She's got the tights!

TWO!!!

THREEE!!

*DING* *DING* *DING*

"Pray."

Peterson: Here are your winners! Diabolique and Tomoko Hanahara! D! N! TTEEEEE!

Ken: Diabolique and Tomoko stole this one! They stole this one! Tomoko Hanahara may have dodged another bullet, but how many more can the Queen make miss her before she loses that title!

Chris: I'll say twenty-seven!

Ken: The SIN Title tournament continues next week! Can DNT run the table and add more gold to their 'relationship'? We'll see next week, live on F/X!

And fade... to the PWE logo.