And the staff has there own headaches. The Board undoubtedly wants to see CSV set records. With overseas business growing, holding the home-based American market means the potential for major profit. But the economy is struggling and no one is above its effects. Christian Connolly has to put together a card that will persuade struggling families to shell out fifty or seventy-five bucks for a PPV event.

Needless to say, unless you're a ten year old trying to figure out what outfit you should wear on the first day back to school, August can be a very stressing time.

It's that stress and thoughts of the upcoming mega-show that have The Broken Saint roaming the backstage corridors.

"YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

A great reaction fills the Richmond Coliseum as R.W. Randolph appears, stepping around a corner and passing a couple of crew members, rolling up a lenghth of cable.

The Broken Saint heads down the hallway, passin' the catering table... where, for maybe the first time in history... nothing interesting is going on.

As he rounds another corner, he bumps into Bob Catholic.

Bob Catholic: Randolph! How's it goin?

R.W. Randolph: Good, Brent.

Bob Catholic: Bob.

R.W. Randolph: Sorry.

Bob Catholic: It's cool. So anyway... Cyberslam is just around the corner, whattaya got in the works.

The Broken Saint adjusts hat. Glaring at Catholic, he pauses for a moment before answering with a question of his own.

R.W. Randolph: Is this some sort of impromptu interview?

BC looks around, checking to see if he's got his camera crew in tow or a microphone in hand.

Bob Catholic: No, just curious what's in store.

R.W. Randolph: Actually, that's what I'm trying to figure out. You wouldn't happen to know if Christian's in his office, would ya?

Bob Catholic: Believe she is. At least she was a few minutes ago.

R.W. Randolph: Thanks, Catholic.

The Saint gives Bob a slap on the shoulder and walks past him, having successfully completed the shortest interview Catholic has ever conducted. Strolling down the corridor, The Broken Saint comes upon a closed door that simply reads...

Christian Connolly

Straightening his tie and clearing his throat, Randolph knocks on the door and waits for a response.

From the other side, footsteps can be heard approaching, and then the door swings open, Connolly standing tall, looking every bit as stressed as one would assume.

Christian Connolly: Can I help you, Mr. Randolph?

R.W. Randolph: I think we should talk about a match at Cyberslam.

Randolph nods his head, and as he does so, the briefest of smiles begins to curl the ege of C2's lips.

Christian Connolly: Actually, so do I.

C2 steps to the side, clearing the doorway as he holds out an inviting hand.

Christian Connolly: Come in and have a seat, Randolph.

The Broken Saint obliges, stepping into the office as PWE's captain closes the door behind him, and the camera fades out on a simple image.

Christian Connolly

Putting together a show that won't disappoint.

The camera cuts to an anonymous backstage. As the lyrics hit, a pair of large, swinging entry doors burst open to reveal Masaharu Tanabashi, marching toward the camera with a determined glare.

"EVOLUTION IS A MYSTERY!"

The camera is swung to the right, only to be met with a fist from the Lunatic. The lens spiderwebs and falls to the floor.

"FULL OF CHANGE THAT NO ONE SEES!"

A hand picks up the shattered lens, bringing it to the squinting eyes of Dylan Cage, who scoffs and throws it back to the floor.

"CLOCK MAKES A FOOL OF HISTORY!"

Facing upward off the floor, the lens reveals R.W. Randolph, who looks downward, smiles, and smothers the lens with a black boot.

"YESTERDAY'S TOO LONG AGO!"

Spinning left, the camera finds the looming form of Shawn Christopher. He raises his forearm, displaying the "PRAISE HUBBARD" scrawled on wrist tape. The lens is quickly diverted away from him as Citizen Truth focuses it on himself and salutes. After a few seconds of face-time, SC snarls and face-palms the lens, sending it tumbling away.

"DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT I KNOW!"

The camera is caught and brought to an abrupt halt, the scarred visage of the Tsukino Meiou holding it steady. He seems to stare through the lens, into the heart of the viewer, piercing eyes never blinking.

"TOMORROW BECOMES A NEW PLACE TO BE!"

The lens is wrenched away by the burly hands of the White Trash Trucker, revealing his growling visage. He curls his lips in before thumping his chest with his fist.

"I SEE THE LIGHT IN THE SAND!"

The lens snaps away once more, jetting further up the hall, where another door on the opposite side of the hall swings open, revealing Hawaiian Hardhead. Walking down the hall, he stops at the camera and growls. He then palms the camera, and throws it.

"EVOLUTION!"

The shot turns to black and white, revealing the faces of competitors as jagged blue lettering in the foreground presents their names. Behind it, the camera sprints down toward the end of the hall, where the silhouette of a figure stands.

"EVOLUTION!"

As the lens draws closer, we find Universal Champion Tomoko Hanahara holding the belt up to her face, adjusting a few stray hairs for the optimum experience.

"EVOLUTION!"

She smiles and waves, holding up the title, along with Elmo.

The PWE logo slams onto the screen.

Wrestling's Revolution.

This is P W E.

Chris: What do you mean? We’re going to see Hawaiian Hardhead continue his losing streak. How simple is that?

Ken: Anyways, Hardhead will be facing a mystery opponent here tonight.

The crowd waits in anticipation to see just what their mysterious opening match holds for them as Colin Peterson enters the ring.

Colin Peterson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

The crowd cheers and keeps it going as the lights go dim and the opening of "Different Girl" begin throughout the arena.

Through the green and silver throbbing lights highlighting the stage and ramp steps Hawaiian Hardhead. "The Insane Delgado" stops at the top of the ramp and takes in the crowd reaction; some of the loudest cheers of the night thus far and smiles. A quick second later he thrusts his arms into the air to even more cheers.

HHH marches down the ramp to the ring, looking to be ready for a war. HHH pulls himself onto the apron and enters the ring. He has a complete look of anxiousness etched on his face which could only mean one thing…

He had no clue either.

Colin Peterson: In the ring, from Tampa, Florida.. weighing in at 313 pounds... he is the 2009 State Penn Winner... HAWAIIIAN HARRRRRRRRDHEEEAAAAAD!!

The crowd creates the loudest chorus of cheers at this point to completely attempt to drown out Colin Peterson. HHH pulls on the ring ropes a little. The heat from the sold out audience dies down eventually as they wait in anticipation of just who the challenger is.

Following a few moments of silence, the theme "I'm The Shit" begins to play. The hatred rains down quickly as the fans know exactly who's about to walk through the curtain.

Ken: NO! It can’t…

Chris: YES! YES!

Thru the smoke steps Shawn Christopher, with the Gateway title strapped around his waist. He steps onto the ramp and stares a hole through HHH. But then that look.. turns to a smile. A smug look of confidence. That could only mean one thing...

Something's up.

Ken: Doesn't it seem strange that Shawn looks completely unfazed.

Chris: It's called confid-OH SHIT!

What that outburst is for, is the big man that just stepped over the guardrail and is climbing into the ring.

Ken: HARDHEAD LOOK OUT!

But he doesn't hear him. And Citizen Truth nails HHH from behind with a clubbing forearm. Citizen Truth brings the boots down onto HHH as the crowd voices its hatred. CT grabs HHH by the hair and violently pulls him up. He sets him up in the jackknife, and in a great show of strength, lifts HHH high and powerbombs him down into the mat.

Chris: Wow.

CT isn't done, as he pulls HHH up again, and sets him up for another powerbomb. But this time, CT launches HHH into the turnbuckles. HHH stumbles out, looking out on his feet, and he gets caught by the big palm of the Heroic Hoss. The crowd is in shock of how CT is manhandling HHH, but it gets worse as CT says five little words...

CT: LONG ARM OF THE LAW!!!

And with that, came his tree trunk like arm that nailed HHH viciously with a lariat and turned his inside out.

Ken: This... I have no comment for this.

Chris: I wish I had a cold drink. It's the only thing that could go with entertainment like this.

Shawn has now made his way to ringside and slides in the ring. He pulls a mic out of his back pocket.

SC: Thats enough, Citizen.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SC: Hardhead.. I bet you're wondering what you did to deserve this, and it's simple. You broke one of the longest standing rules in professional wrestling.. you don't cross Shawn Christopher.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SC: April 26th.. State Penn.. you took MY moment away from me! That night was the night I was suppose to ascend and get the shot I rightfully deserve, but you... YOU STOLE IT! Now.. I'm gonna prove that that night.. it was a fucking fluke.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SC: I'm gonna make you the stepping stone that you should've been on that night. Because no one is gonna stop me from reaching my rightful stop at the top. See you at Cyberslam, bitch.

And with that SC throws the mic down into HHH as CT lets go of him. The crowds hatred is deafening as referees, security, and EMT's rush the scene as SC spits down on HHH. SC climbs out the ring, and walks by the announce table.

Ken: You are disgusting!

Shawn steps back from the scene. After hearing Ken, Shawn pie faces the announcer backwards. Chris tries to steady Ken but he falls to the floor.

Chris: Get him out of here!

Security escort SC & Truth away from the scene as SC has a broken and disgusted look on his face. He really feels that HHH stole his moment away. Ken is holding his head as security finally gets control of the scene.

HHH has a neck brace wrapped around his neck and the final view of the fallen superstar shows some blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. The scene then turns to black as it fades to commercial.

Ken: I’m getting really sick of this girl.

Chris: The champ! The champ is here, Stevenson! Get on your feet!

Most of the arena are just that – on their feet – but only to boo. Some of them throw trash, and the champion shrugs it off with a sneer as she makes his way to the ring, her title belt slung over her shoulder.

Ken: What’s this about?

Chris: Whatever he wants it to be. Show some respect to your champion, Chris.

Ken: I have plenty of respect for Tomoko’s wrestling ability – but quite frankly, Chris, I’ve heard all I want to hear from her.

Hanahara takes her good time getting to the ring, circling it first with hard eyes for the fans. When finally she steps up into it, she holds the PWE Universal Championship high above her head to an explosion of flash bulbs in the dimmed arena. A cocky smirk on her face all the while.

After catching a microphone, she paces.

TH: You know, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this past week.

Pause.

TH: Thinking about Cyberslam V.

A smatter of cheers.

TH: Thinking about all the peasants and peons and simple bastards big and small in PWE who think they deserve a shot…

Holds the championship, again, high above her head.

TH: …this.

She stares up at it, as if in awe for a moment. It’s a beautiful title after all, with a mountain of prestige behind it.

TH: This is what it’s all about, losers. This one title. One championship to signify who is the best in this business.

Ken: Well, she’s right about that.

Chris: We’re looking at a new standard of champions now.

Slowly, carefully, Hanahara puts the title back on her shoulder, dusting the face of it with the tips of her fingers. Her voice is almost tantric.

TH: This is the height of a profession. Men work their lives, through blood, sweat, and tears just to get within arm’s reach of it.

She looks up to the audience, her face souring.

TH: Not that any of you would know a damn thing about that! Not that a single damn one of you would have a clue about true G-reatness! Hell, I’ve been coming down here, week in, and week out, and you boo and jeer and hate me for my superiority. Hate me because I’m everything you can never be! I AM A CHAMPION, DAMN IT!! I am THE champion! The one champion! The only champion! I’m the woman that every SINGLE other man in this business wakes up in the morning and wants to be. Chris Stevens wakes up every day and thinks, "Gee, if only I were as tall and could have a woman as sexy as Tomoko Hanahara." Hawaiian Hardhead wakes up every day and thinks, "Damn, if only I weren’t addicted to crack and smelled a little less like feces and a little more like Tomoko Hanahara." Masaharu Tanabashi wakes up every day and thinks, "GOD DAMN IT IF I WEREN’T SUCH A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL, MAYBE I COULD ACTUALLY HAVE STOOD A CHANCE IN THE RING AGAINST THE G-REATEST!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

TH: Don’t get me started on Tsukino Meiou!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

TH: And therein lies the crux of the problem. There simply are no more worthy challengers. No one that has a competitive chance to take this away from me.

Pats the championship.

TH: And so with a heavy heart, I’ve come to the decision that there will be NO Universal title defense at Cyberslam.

Ken: She can’t do that.

Richard: She just did that.

Ken: She doesn’t have the authority.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

TH: I know, I know – you’re all disappointed that you won’t have the thrill of watching me perform. Watching my effortless way I slap down every challenge since Road to Glory, and every –

"I’ve heard just about enough of this!

Ken: Christian Connolly! Christian Connolly!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Slowly, Hanahara lowers the microphone from her lips while PWE’s top man sets a determined pace toward the ring. Once inside, he stands toe to toe with the champion, as brazen as any challenger might, and together they share a steely stare before he finally turns away and begins to circle.

C2: You know, Tomoko, I deal with a lot of egomaniacal personalities in my line of work, and I assure you, you’re champion of that too.

Hanahara looks pleased for a moment, until she realizes what egomaniacal means.

C2: And to be quite honest, I have to say that I’ve been pretty impressed with your run since the Road to Glory tournament. While your work for the promotion outside of the ring has been…

She gives her a hard eye and a frown…

C2: …lackluster at best, inside the ring, you’ve been nothing less than stellar. And you’re right – you’ve been a champion we can all be proud of.

The crowd quiets to a bubbling hum while in the ring, Hanahara, with her chest puffed, looks rather proud of herself. Christian walks away from her.

C2: But rest assured, "champ," you will be defending the Universal Championship at Cyberslam V.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Hanahara looks immediately ready for war, snarling, her title belt in hand now and dangling down to the canvas.

TH: Who!? Who then!? Who’s it gonna be!? Who’re you gonna send down here to be the next foot note in history?

He takes his time responding, turning to her over his shoulder, a sly smirk on his face.

C2: Easy tiger.

TH: Damn it, I demand to kn-

C2: First - you don’t demand anything from me, sunshine.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ken: It’s about time someone put that lunatic in his place.

C2: When I speak, you listen. When I command, you obey. You might be the champion of PWE, Hanahara, but make no mistakes, you still answer to me!

Hanahara holds his temper, barely. The microphone in her left hand shakes as she pulls her title back up and rests it on her shoulder.

C2: But if you must know…

Everyone in the arena is standing.

C2: The number one contender for PWE’s Universal Championship…

Thousands of eyes turn toward the entrance ramp where their newest hero is about to make himself known.

C2: …And your opponent in the Main Event at Cyberslam V…

The audience is boiling now.

C2: …will be…

Electric.

A sly smile appears on Christian Connolly’s face as squares himself to the champion.

C2: Announced live at Solitary 26 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!

It takes a moment for that to register with Hanahara.

C2: I guess you’ll just have to stew on it until then. Champ.

He gives her a wink and a smile, and then he’s gone, leaving Hanahara in the ring, angry, confused, but best of all, speechless.

The bell sounded, and Randolph's cockiness returned as he proceeded to shut out his surroundings and focus on the matter at hand: showing the world that he deserves the Cyberslam Universal title shot.

Randolph walked closer to Strange, knowing in his head that the match would be over when he decided it should end. Strange backed up into the corner, and ducked to avoid potential decapitation via a face-breaking Axe Bomber that caused Chris Jacobs to cringe. Randolph crashed into the corner, his ribs colliding with the top turnbuckle pad, and Strange spun him around and hit him with three consecutive forearm smashes.

The crackle of gunfire (aimed skyward) would have garnered the attention of most, but not the loner Bobby Strange---he's hardcore. Randolph's head continued to recoil from each blow, before Strange shot him across the ring with an Irish whip, to the opposite corner.

Charging in, Strange delivered a Stinger Splash that drove all of the air out of 'the Broken Saint,' and caused him to stagger forward out of the corner, while Strange climbed to the top rope.

FLYING LARIAT!

The arm of Strange struck Randolph in the upper back, between his shoulder blades, sending him into an involuntary forward roll. Strange made the cover.

One!

Two!

Th---Randolph's shoulder rocketed up off the mat.

Randolph didn't even have time to shake the cobwebs loose; he was hauled to his feet and belted with another series of rapid-fire forearm smashes, and then hit with an Inverted Atomic Drop.

Strange hit the ropes---FLYING FOREARM!

Bobby waited for Randolph to get to his feet, then hit the ropes one more time for the running Yakuza Kick nailed Randolph in the side of the head, collapsing him to the mat. Strange seized the opportunity and made the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THR---SHOULDER!

Strange was riding a wave of exhilaration; his momentum was at an all-time high as he dragged 'the Broken Saint' to his feet, and gives himself some room for what would be the first time.

GOOD NIGHT SL-

Randolph fell to his knees and drove the butt of his elbow into Strange's gut as Strange's leg extended over his head. Strange's eyes rolled back in his head before teetering over like a tree.

Randolph stood up, with a hand pressed to the side of his head as it tilted back.

Right arm: STOMP!

Right leg: STOMP!

Stomach: STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

Head: STOMP! STOMP! STOMPSTOMPSTOMPYOURHEADINMOTHERFUCKER!

The left side of Strange's body got no Garvin Stomp lovin'. Randolph pulled Strange to his feet, held him in place with a hand grasping the back of his head, and delivered a DEVASTATING Axe Bomber.

THWWWWACK!

Strange crumbled.

Randolph grabbed his arms and quickly applied the Clock Out. With Strange unconscious and unable to tap, the referee called for the bell and declared Randolph the victor.

SC: Fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager, With a little bit of gold and a pager, Searchin my car, lookin for the product, Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics…

Citizen Truth frowns upon hearing the distasteful remarks towards American law enforcement. He taps the Gateway champion, snapping him out of his gangsta trance in the process…

Citizen Truth: Mister Christopher!

Startled, SC takes out an earbud to reply.

SC: Yes?

Citizen Truth: What is that filth and propaganda you’re spreading? Its sound is equivalent with sodomizing the President!

SC: Oh… it’s about corrupt cops. Yeah, that’s it.

Citizen Truth: Excellent, sir. Excellent. Stick it to the man by turning their own sound against them. That is… how do these kids say on the streets? …Uh, fly.

Nodding in approval, the two head towards the locker room when a ruckus right behind them prevents both men from advancing any farther.

As it just so happens, two young men and a single girl are entering the building, all of them arguing with each other over what is assumedly a late arrival. The two men are dressed casually, noticably wearing Patriots jerseys. The handsome brown-haired man wears one of Tom Brady (number 12), while the handsome blonde-haired man wears one of Randy Moss (number 81). The girl wears a frilly brown tunic and a short pink skirt, and black sandals. And she looks incredibly peeved at the two men.

Michelle O'Reily: I can't believe you took that "shortcut", Elijah. Now we're late to the show, and you know Mr. Connolly's supposed to meet with us.

Elijah Josten: It's not my fault that the people of this shithole built their streets out of madness. They say this a capital of a state? Please.

Connor O'Reily: Also, people here really don't know how to drive.

Elijah Josten: Like half of the Pistons roster when faced by the Big Three.

Connor O'Reily: The same could be said for pretty much the rest of the NBA.

Elijah Josten: Verily.

One thing to note about Elijah Josten is that he is very hard to rattle and annoy. You could tell him that his dead father is a waste of human flesh, derived from the loins of the inferior, and thus, Elijah is twice as inferior for being spawned from something inferior... and all Elijah will do is calmly be the obnoxious asshole he is... the same as he had been before you made such a statement.

The sight of one man, however, causes Elijah to become just a hair bit rattled. He drops his smirk, usually plastered on his face, and he slides his sunglasses down to the very edge of his nose, so that his eyes can better see the man who has caused Elijah to pull a 180 in demeanor.

Citizen Truth.

Elijah Josten: ...What in the blue hell are YOU doing here?

Turning around, both SC and the CT eyeball the newest nuisances to grace PWE with their presence. Citizen Truth, in particular, can’t help but eyeball Elijah. Despite being shrouded in a mask, one could easily tell that Elijah’s presence here was unexpected for SC’s charge.

Citizen Truth: I should ask you the same thing, worm! What rock did you crawl out from and whose backside did you caress with your lips to be employed by the same prodigious company as I?

Mr. Christopher jerks a thumb towards the triad, particularly the stone-cold Josten.

SC: You know this asshole?

Citizen Truth: Aye.

Connor asks a similar question to his tag team partner.

Connor O'Reily: Who the hell is this guy? He looks like he fell off of the red, white, and blue ugly tree.

Elijah Josten: Nobody worth caring about.

Connor O'Reily: What, so he's like the EWF?

Elijah Josten: ...

Connor O'Reily: Was that too much? Should I have mentioned the names of those fucking japanese dudes?

Elijah Josten: ...

Connor O'Reily: Still too much?

Slowly, everyone slowly turns to Connor, as if trying to mentally project a "shut the hell up" vibe to him. For once in his life, Connor manages to take the hint.

SC: Excuse me, Indy Kid, but comparing MY boy here to the EWF or anybody? Bullshittery to the highest degree! Citizen Truth here WINS matches AND actually shows up to every PWE show. You guys may have been too busy watching some guys dive off ladders to see what he did to Bobby Strange! Or what he did to Hawaiian Hardhead! They call him Citizen Tru-

Shockingly, a hand from the Heroic Hoss silences Shawn for the moment as he continues to leer at Elijah.

Citizen Truth: Sir, don’t sully your breath on this ignoramus or his friend any longer. Trust me when I say that association with them is not worth our precious time.

Elijah... cooly adjusts his sunglasses. Meanwhile, the previous "shut the hell up" vibe from earlier wears off on Connor.

Connor O'Reily: Listen, old man. You've probably fallen so far off the top of the card so fast that you bumped your head and got amnesia from the concussion, but we're the Kings of N--

Elijah Josten: (interrupting) Connor.

Connor O'Reily: What?

Elijah Josten: Don't waste your time with *that* guy. He's fallen so far off the radar that he has to resort to latching on to the nearest thing he can find in order to cash in on what little relevance he has left. It's just a shame that the thing he latched on to in his desperation is this... this...

Elijah seems to have trouble trying to find the words that best describes his feelings for Citizen Truth. He finally settles on something.

Elijah Josten: ...waste of organic matter.

Contorting his face into a hateful scowl, Shawn Christopher points a finger at the Kings – Connor, in particular – and readies his bile. Ready… aim…

SC: Kid, I can buy and sell a thousand of you little fucking Edge and Christian clones! I was winning championship AND smacking Hall of Famers around while you were still practicing little sports jokes for heel heat inside your mother’s womb, so you can thank your LUCKY FUCKING STARS that you got hired to a contract, you little bitch. The next words out of your little shithole better be akin to "Thank you, sir, for allowing us pithy little Low-Carders to grace the same airtime as you."

Citizen Truth ignores Shawn’s rant for the moment as he searches for the words to properly articulate his feeling on the situation. Taking a softer tone than usual, the Citizen shakes his head.

Citizen Truth: Elijah, don’t… agree to disagree and just walk away. We don’t need to do this here of all places…

Elijah Josten is a lot of things. He is not, however, the type of person to listen to the men standing before him. Before Connor can say anything, Elijah holds up an arm.

Elijah Josten: Fuuuuu... that doesn't sound like Citizen Truth to me, now does it? That... sounded more like the man behind the mask. Wouldn't you agree, big brother?

Michelle's mouth goes agap, and she is silent. Not like she's said much in the first place, she's just letting her men get this crap out of their systems before they go to see Cantrell.

Connor's mouth goes agape, and shockingly, he is now silent.

Shawn Christopher's mouth goes similarly agape, and even MORE shockingly, HE is now silent.

Elijah Josten: (to Shawn) Hmph. Do you even know anything about your own charge? (to Truth, dripping with sarcasm) Fuuu... it's a shame that I know your secret identity. What if I were to tell every evil villain on the roster? (fake gasps) They might even know your weakness! Oh no! What will you do when they suddenly try to make you wrestle for ten, maybe even fifteen minutes, and you gas out like Billy Gunn in the Himalayas!? (now serious) Please. Do your threatening to people who actually think you're not some gimp wearing an American Flag on his head. (to Shawn) Seriously, what have you done with this guy in the last year or two? Try to mimic Deliverence as closely as humanly possible? (to Truth) Seriously. You're a gimp. (to Shawn) Do you just specialize in training gimps or something? (to Truth) Also, how's Rachel doing? She still trying to find your di--

Michelle O'Reily: STOP IT.

Michelle O'Reily, the shortest person in this conversation, also happens to be the most assertive. She steps out in front of Simon and has her hands on her hips.

Michelle O'Reily: Connolly wants us, you MORON. You can spend time mocking your brother on your OWN time.

Elijah Josten: What? He needed someone to mock h--

Michelle O'Reily puts her hand in front of his face to stop him.

Michelle O'Reily: No, Elijah.

Connor looks about ready to say something.

Connor O'Reily: But...

Michelle stops him by doing the same thing she just did to Elijah.

Michelle O'Reily: No, Connor.

She grabs Connor by his Tom Brady jersey.

Connor O'Reily: Hey, sis! Watch the jersey! I got Brady to sign this one! It's made of awesome!

Instinctively, Connor grabs Elijah's jersey in an attempt to keep his twin sister from dragging him away. However, as Connor is already moving in the same direction as his sister, Elijah is slowly being dragged away by his jersey as well.

Elijah Josten: Hey, Connor! Watch MY jersey. I got Moss to sign mine! (to Truth) I'll get you next time, you son of a bitch! Next! Time!

And then they leave, in the opposite direction of Shawn and Citizen Truth.

Before the smug Elijah can advance any farther, the large hand of Citizen Truth halts him for a brief moment. Clutching his hand around Elijah’s arm TIGHTLY, his nostrils flare as he pulls Elijah in close.

Citizen Truth: Drop her name again and I drop YOU.

The Citizen Truth tosses his arm away and says nothing more, watching a still-smug Elijah Josten walk away with his crew. SC turns to his charge and narrows his eyebrows, demanding an explanation.

SC: Brother, huh?

Citizen Truth: Aye, sir.

SC: Will he be a problem?

Citizen Truth peers over his shoulder, lamenting to himself.

Citizen Truth: I pray that’s not the case.

The two leave the vicinity as well, concentrating on their match later this evening. Business truly WAS about to pick up, King.

Chris: Really? At the end of the show, we have a main event? You should have gone as Captain Obvious - or is that too close to your real life?

Ken: I'm going to continue blithely on, rather than punching you in your glass jaw.

Chris: Good plan.

Ken: We're going to see Masaharu Tanabashi & Tsukino Meiou -

Chris: Team Immigration --

Ken: I am not calling them that. Their opposition will be the Vicious Champion Diabolique and the Universal Champion herself, Tomoko Hanahara.

Chris: Is it a hate crime if two women beat up a pair of gay men?

Ken: (heaving a sigh) Let's go down to ringside for Colin Peterson's introductions.

Peterson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following featured contest on Solitary is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit. Introducing first...

FWOOM!

...go the flashpots as bright red fire shoots out of all four ringposts. As the fire dies down, the music begins.

Tommy Heavenly. "Pray"

The curtain parts and out first steps Diabolique with her Vicious title strapped around her waist. She walks to the forefront and stops, and after a few seconds of looking out into the crowd of jeering fans, the other half of this championship team. Tomo-.. Yui Hanahara steps out, carrying the Universal title over her shoulder. She nods to Dia and both women begin their march to the ring.

CP: They are the reigning Vicious and Universal champions.. DIABOLIQUE & TOMOKO HANAHARA!!

Dia slides in the ring and Yui hops onto the apron and climbs in. They both thrust their titles high in the air, basking in the hatred of the fans.

CP: And their opponents!

"King Felino And The Slay Ground" by Bjorn Lynne.

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And Masaharu Tanabashi makes his presence known at the top of the ramp. MT prowls his way down the aisle, each step being made with deliberate precision. Even in a sport known for impressively developed individuals, Tanabashi can still manage to give an audience pause. Clad in a pair of black wrestling trunks with a gold lion's head emblem imprinted on them and a pair of black wrestling boots with the same lion's head emblem on each, he makes his way down the aisle with grace.

MT slaps at the hands at the hands lining the aisle, his gaze never straying from his opponent inside the ring. His eyes seem to almost burn with energy. As he approaches the ring, a smile slowly starts to creep along his mouth.

Ken: Tanabashi has been physically dominant in every confrontation with Tomoko. She doesn't seem to have a way to deal with his strength, and it was a stroke of luck that led to the Queen winning that Hell in a Cell match against Hardhead and the Warrior.

Tanabashi waits at the foot of the ramp as Yui whispers something to Dia. Whatever it is, a dark smile creases the Mistress' face.

Ken: We're just waiting for Meiou to come in here.

Chris: Tommy's not waiting!

Ken: Hanahara! Hanahara across the ring, she leaps up to the top and -- somersault! Somersault senton to the floor knocks down Tanabashi!

*DING* *DING* *DING*

Ken: The bell rings and action starts immediately!

On the floor, Dia and Yui hold each other's wrists and Dia spins around. Yui lays out and - WHAM! Both feet! Both of Yui's feet connect with Tanabashi's jaw! The referee interposes himself between DNT and their opponent, and it doesn't take super-sensitive microphones to realize that Mr. Marshall and Ms. Hanahara are engaged in an activity known scientifically as "the bitchout".

Ken: Lee Marshall exerting some authority! He's ordered Dia and Tomoko to the ring! He's trying to get the match inside the ring!

All board, step this way
The dark ride is leaving soon
Just sign your name on the dotted line
All I want is just your soul

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: This will even the sides!! Tsukino Meiou!!

Chris: He's not even supposed to be here!

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: And there's the man himself! For my money, the toughest bastard in PWE!

Chris: I'll agree with the bastard part.

Meiou down the aisle! BOOM! Clubbing forearm to the back of Dia! Meiou spins around Yui - kick to the midsection and -- WHAM! DDT! DDT by Meiou! Yui and Dia start circle to around to the other side of the ring as -- Meiou stalks them! Meiou chases them to the other side of the ring, where Tanabashi is waiting and he catches Dia with a clothesline.

Ref: ONE!!

Ken: Meiou and Tanabashi -- double kick to the midsection!

Ref: TWO!!

Ken: What could they have in store for Tomoko!

Ref: THREE!!

Double hip toss! Tomoko took to the air! The Universal champ sent flying by the Warrior and the King!

Ref: FOUR!!

Ken: And now both men snap their attention to Dia whose slid in the ring! I think the Mistress is gonna need some new britches!

Chris: Count faster, Marshall!

Ref: FIVE!!

Ken: Meiou and Tanabashi take hold of the middle rope in stereo! They're going to --

Ref: SIX!!

Chris: Do nothing and like it!

Ken: Damn her! Tomoko! She grabs the leg of Meiou, and Tanabashi!

Ref: SEVEN!!

Ken: Diabolique may steal one!

Chris: Stealing wins is what she does best!

Ken: Meiou turns... stiff kick to the side of the champ's head!

Ref: EIGHT!!

Ken: Tomoko won't let go! MT having a helluva time shaking her! But Meiou! Tsukino isn't even trying! Meiou is pulling Tomoko up with him!

Ref: NI --

Ken: Marshall's waving it off! They broke the count with Tomoko hanging from their legs!

Chris: Sic him! Sic him like you're God's own pit bull!

Ken: Dia laying in blows to Tanabashi's back as Tomoko falls off to the floor!

Chris: Smite him! Why isn't he smited yet? Whyyyy isn't he smiiiited??

Ken: Those blows aren't having any effect! They're not --

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Chris: That one did.

Ken: Dia with a blatant low blow! Lee Marshall with a stern warning for the Mistress as Masaharu is staggered!

Chris: Why do they even bother with a warning anymore?

Ken: Tanabashi stumbles into the corner and Tomoko! She wraps the tag rope around Masaharu's throat! The Universal Champion is trying to choke the life out of the man she defeated at SummerSlaughter!

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: But Tanabashi! Tanabashi powers through! My God, he broke the tag rope! Masaharu Tanabashi snapped it right off the turnbuckle!

Chris: Now how is she supposed to obey the rules?

Ken: Like that's a big concern for her.

Chris: It could be. You don't know.

Ken: I know that Tanabashi BLOWS through Dia! Lariat turns the Mistress inside out! And a tag! Tag to Meiou!

Chris: Get out of there, Dia!

Ken: Dia is scrambling! Dia is trying to get away from Tsukino Meiou! Dia to her corner now and Tomoko doesn't want to make the tag! Tomoko sighs and Hanahara makes the tag!

Chris: Maybe she does want to be saved!

Ken: Hanahara into the ring and she walks into a right hand from Meiou! Tomoko is rocked! A second shot puts her in the Tanabashi/Meiou corner, which is one place the Universal Champion does NOT want to be.

Chris: You let her out of there this instant!

Ken: Meiou drives those shoulders into Tomoko Hanahara's midsection -- the one thing she has going for her is speed, but if you can't breathe, you can't run.

Chris: If you can't breathe, you can't do a lot of things.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Chris: My prayers have been answered!

Ken: What's he doing here?!

Chris: To save the day!

Ken: Chris Jacobs is up to the apron, he's trying to get Lee Marshall's attention! What business is this of his?! Can't we get a fair shot, can't we get one fair match?

Chris: What's he doing out here?

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Ken: It's R.W. Randolph!!

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

Ken: Yakuza kick! He just kicked the hell out of Chris Jacobs! Jacobs steps up with a clothesline, smoothly ducked by Randolph! Randolph ducks behind Jacobs and he cinches in an inverted headlock! He leaps up to the apron and -- inverted tornado DDT! Jacobs has been laid waste to again!

Randolph stares down Dia and Tomoko across the ring.

Randolph: Randolph out through the crowd as Meiou pulls Tomoko across to the ropes and whips her across the ring! He tags in Tanabashi, and we've got a SummerSlaughter replay!

Chris: Complete with the unfair circumstances for Hanahara!

Ken: Hanahara goes low with a dropkick to Tanabashi's knee! Tomoko pops up to her feet, springs off the ropes and --

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: Caught! Caught by Tanabashi! What's he gonna do here? He shrugs Tomoko up onto his shoulders for the torture rack! Death Valley Driver?

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ken: BOOM! BOOM! Burning Hammer! Burning Hammer! Tanabashi drops down for the cover!

ONE!!

TWO!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ken: That's Derek Hardaway! Hardaway pulls Tanabashi out of the ring!

Chris: I thought he wasn't here!

But before Hardaway can do any damage... he turns and --

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK!

and is met with a steel chair shot from Meiou.

Ken: Down goes Hardaway! And Meiou doesn't look done! He slides in the ring and now the chair finds Tomoko's skull!

*DING* *DING* *DING*

Ken: Meiou and Tanabashi have been disqualified here, but the story is that Meiou is going crazy with that chair!

Chris: Get out of his way!

Dia grabs Tomoko's leg and pulls her out of the ring as Meiou tries to nail Dia as well. The crowd is going crazy as Meiou stands tall in the ring with the steel chair in hand.